After thirteen years and eleven months, Amanda and I have parted company. There will be no forensics or analysis, other than to say we have become different people over time.
I am sad beyond belief, I thought we would rub along despite the changes because we had been together so long and know each other so well, but also in spite of the changes in each other’s personalities and outlook. But it wasn’t to be, and it was probably foolish if not naïve to think so.
This isn’t mine or Amanda’s first rodeo, and I fervently hope that we can be the friends in the parting that we were in the sharing years, but given my earlier naivety about rubbing along together, I think I should set my aspirations and hopes at a more sensible level … but as I say, I live in hope.
For me it’s a funny business. I have left our home as requested, and am now living back in the camper where our story on the ILTYT Blogspot began in January 2012 … though not in the camper we planned to adventure in. ILTYT Blogspot
It has to be said it doesn’t have quite the same adventure feel to it, as when you are travelling hundreds then thousands of miles on an adventure. Now it’s a matter personal survival, it tarnishes the joy, however, it is also a familiar space and like any home; once the door is locked and the blinds are drawn it is home sweet home.
I find it hard to comprehend or even see the future, but then it’s only been three days so far.
I didn’t want this fester, or to leave it unsaid and give a false impression. I am currently `homeless’ in the traditional sense of the word home, unemployed, injured and in a system that has been stymied if not paralyzed by the pandemic. It’s odd in some ways. I am as free as a bird at the moment, and it is utterly terrifying.
This the low spot, the place where the snakes belly meets the wagon rut. However, the perspective that saying misses is that from the rut you can still see the stars, and you can still see where the rut runs to the horizon, and if you are heading in the direction the rut runs then quite simply following it will take you into the future.
Men and women cannot be friends. We are adversarial in our intimate relationships. You are there to provide untility....should that cease the relationship ceases. See Briffaults law! Good luck
ReplyDeleteThe silent psycologist
Thank you, I had a read. It's an interesting law, however, I would like (maybe foolishly) to think that our issues have been brewing for a while. And that the turn of events is the culmination of a number of factors rather than; the simple fact that I can no longer feed the `joint pot', when you take into consideration all the other things I added or did within the relationship, that made home, home, in spite of my current inability to earn a traditional living.
DeleteI'm not saying it's too simple a law. Just that it is a bit general and that once you turn over a few rocks you find a lot of complexity.
You are most welcome for the help. I hope it does help. The complexity is possibly only in your mind. Women will only tolerate a man they can look up to.
DeletePsycology is all about Patterns. You will notice your problems started with a reduction in income. Being a housewife offers no benefit to the relationship. Brutal but true. Remember that what women say and what women do are conflicting by their very nature. Good luck
The silent psycologist